One Down, One Up

Have you seen these videos... The Landlord http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/74 The Landlord Outtakes http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4152 Good Cop, Baby Cop http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/33f2687080 You guys would like them.

From today's Plain Dealer: U.S. Marshals haul lion-costumed man to jail Posted by Donna J. Miller June 20, 2007 14:43PM Categories: Breaking News, Crime U.S. Marshals snared a lion Wednesday and hauled him to jail. OK, it wasn't a real lion, but a man wearing a furry costume: James Wagner, 39, of Canonsburg, Pa. Wagner has been running from the law for more than two years, marshals say. He was wanted on charges of raping and impregnating a girl in Pennsylvania. James Wagner Marshals in Pennsylvania received a tip that Wagner was working at a cell phone store on Ohio 91 in Solon. They heard that his job there was to stand outside the store wearing a lion suit and luring people inside. About 12:30 p.m. Wednesday, marshals drove to the store in a car. Sure enough, a lion enthusiastically waved them over. The marshals jumped out of their car and struggled with the lion, until one marshal grabbed the tail. Mission accomplished. One cat in the bag. Story photos here:

The Tortured Lives of Interrogators Veterans of Iraq, N. Ireland and Mideast Share Stark Memories By Laura Blumenfeld Washington Post Staff Writer Monday, June 4, 2007; Page A01 .... Not long ago in Iraq, he felt "absolute power," he said, over men kept in cages. Lagouranis had forced a grandfather to kneel all night in the cold and bombarded others in metal shipping containers with the tape of the self-help parody "Feel This Book: An Essential Guide to Self-Empowerment, Spiritual Supremacy, and Sexual Satisfaction," by comedians Ben Stiller and Janeane Garofalo. ("They hated it," Lagouranis recalled. "Like, 'Please! Just stop that voice!' ") A funny graph from a disturbing article: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/03/AR2007060301121.html

From YesButNoButYes http://www.yesbutnobutyes.com/archives/2007/03/top_15_unintent.html

RED {an orchestra} COLLABORATES WITH LOCAL POETS & WRITERS TO CELEBRATE CLEVELAND Jonathan Sheffer debuts "A Red Couch Floating in Lake Erie" symphony to honor city Cleveland, OH (March 12, 2007)—Orchestras are defined in some measure by the musical personalities of their conductors, and Red is no exception. Red {an orchestra}'s final performance for the 2006-2007 season, entitled That Red Guy, will include music composed and arranged by Artistic Director Jonathan Sheffer. "That Red Guy" begins with Sheffer's arrangement of Bach's Well- Tempered Clavier in the minimalist style. The piece is followed by Romp, Sheffer's showy concerto for saxophone and orchestra and features Swedish saxophone soloist Anders Paulsson. "That Red Guy" rounds out the performance with the debut of Sheffer's latest symphony celebrating Cleveland titled A Red Couch Floating in Lake Erie. A Red Couch Floating In Lake Erie beautifully fuses a symphony of singe...

Partial transcript: In the matter of The United States vs Angelo “Fuzzy” Leonardi, CV 34-5789 Bailiff : All rise. Judge Reynolds: I trust we had a good lunch. Noises of affirmation from the Jury. Judge Reynolds: Mr. Wallace, is the government ready to proceed. AUSA Terrence Wallace: We are your Honor. We request that Special Agent John Breem return to the stand. Special Agent Breem, you’ve explained to the jury what a Blog is, would you please read the transcription of the Blog entries as you found them on your search of Mr. Leonardi’s computer. Defense Attorney Robert Matthews: Objection your honor. Judge Reynolds: We’ve covered this already Mr. Matthews. Matthews: I want my objection to be part of the record. Judge Reynolds: So noted. In a deadpan, uninflected voice, SA Breen read the following: “Just Another Wiseguy I blame the Sopranos. When I was first coming up in the business, everyone had a copy of the Godfather on videotape in their house, everyone. That was like ou...

The Department of Health and Human Services issued a series of guidelines Monday designed to help parents curtail their children's boundless imaginations, which child-safety advocates say have the potential to rival motor vehicle accidents and congenital diseases as a leading cause of disability and death among youths ages 3 to 14. http://www.theonion .com/content/ news/child_ safety_experts_ call_for

Demolition Magazine has published my short story, "Crossing Borders". Many thanks to Bryon Quertermous and Dave White for their patience and their support.